Awesome 80’s and 90’s Mall references flowed when US television host Kyle Brandt, of the NFL network’s ‘Good Morning Football’ show, gave the most impassioned ode to the great American Shopping Mall I have ever witnessed on screen. Turning beetroot-red with ardour, in three minutes he managed to jam so many tropes from my childhood growing up in the Mall that I could swear he was somehow directly attached to my brain. It was a thing of true beauty and had his co-stars on their feet, clapping and fist-pumping the air Breakfast Club-style by the end of it.

Kyle Brandt from 'Good Morning Football'

Talking about how awesomely Minneapolis’ own Megamall, the Mall of America, has prepared itself for a upcoming Super Bowl LII being held at the U.S. Bank Stadium in Minnesota, Kyle launched into a nostalgia-crammed tirade of Mall memories on Good Morning Football. Media from across the country have headed down to the Mall of America to use as a base of operations during the Super Bowl. Many of them are now reverting to their teen years as they rediscover the wonders of the All-America Shopping Mall - hanging out at the food court and enjoying all of the entertainment and stores stuffed into this glorious Centre!

The Mall of America has become the headquarters for all things Super Bowl!

Here is a list of all of the Mall and cultural references made by Kyle in the span of three minutes and eighteen seconds:

  1. Your mom dropping you off at the Mall - The excitement of getting a lift to the Mall from mom or dad to meet friends and hang out is something I’ll never forget!

  2. Gadzooks - The Mall store where teens went to buy their clothes and accessories in the eighties, including backpacks, fanny-packs, and colour-changing T-shirts!

  3. Slipknot - I remember this crazy, masked nu-metal band was both the coolest and scariest thing during the nineties.

  4. Tiffany - The teen who made the Shopping Mall tour a thing and shot to fame with the eighties mega-hit ‘I think we’re alone now’.

  5. Waldenbooks - Cousin to Waldensoftware and under the Borders umbrella, this Mall-based bookstore was king in the late eighties / early nineties.

  6. The Suncoast Motion Picture Company - In the late eighties, this is where you went to pick up your copy of the latest movie blockbusters on VHS, Betamax (if you were on the wrong side of the great VHS/Betamax wars) or, if you were really fancy, Laserdisc!

Americans have always been in love with the Mall

  1. Benny and Joon - The quirky hit film starring Johnny Depp released in 1993. Bread-roll fork dance, anyone?

  2. Empire Records - The hit teen flick about the death of the independent record store at the hands of an evil corporation. It was released in 1995 and starred the gorgeous duo of Renée Zellweger and Liv Tyler.

  3. Hackers - To this day, this 1995 movie starring Angelina Jolie is the reason why whenever we see hackers in films they are wearing sunglasses and listening to techno whilst frenetically mashing a keyboard.

  4. Sam Goody - Another music and entertainment store from the eighties and nineties - this was a magical time when a Mall could sustain several record stores at once!

  5. Browsing the music store poster rack - This is an institution still around today. You will always find that flippy rack thing full of posters at the back of record stores.

  6. Silverchair - A massive Australian grunge band from the early nineties; a time when the genre was taking over the world.

Some Mall-loving tweets were also read out during the monologue

  1. BLACKstreet - An early nineties hip-hop act who broke through into the suburbs at a time when this was incredibly hard to do. No diggity!

  2. Pacific Sunware - Or PacSun, was another young, cool Cali clothing store found in Malls in the late eighties / early nineties.

  3. Linoleum flooring - There is nothing better than entering a Mall and feeling that Lino flooring under your feet!

  4. Velcro wallets - No teen was cool in the nineties if they didn’t have a brightly-coloured wallet made of parachute material and a huge strip of velcro to seal it shut. Having a surf theme or a picture of a shark took your coolness to another level!

  5. Hot Topic - One of the few big ‘alternative’ clothing stores which has made it out of the nineties.

  6. The food court - The beating heart of youth culture at the Mall; it was (and remains) the place to meet friends, hang out, drink soda and eat fried chicken!

  7. Build-A-Bear factory - The themes of this Mall staple, where kids go to construct their own personalised teddies, grow ever more insane, from Star Wars to My Little Pony!

  8. Contempo casuals - This was a clothing store for the ladies, meeting all of their leg-warmer and jelly shoe needs since 1962!

Brandt's colleagues were hanging off his every word!

  1. Mrs. Fields Original Cookies - No visit to the Mall is complete without a visit to the cookie stand, and Mrs. Fields’ goodies are amongst the tastiest!

  2. Mike Damone from Fast Times at Ridgemont High - One of the coolest characters to appear on film, Mike Damone was a smooth Mallrat and inventor of the patented five-point plan of how to get a girl.

  3. The Go-Go’s - An eighties pop-punk girl group featuring a young Belinda Carlisle. They were the cool peoples’ Bangles!

  4. Van Halen - A rock band who owned the world in the mid-eighties, featuring guitar-god Eddie van Halen and OTT frontman David Lee Roth. Who didn’t have a Van Halen poster on their wall?

  5. American Eagle Oufitters - Another Shopping Mall staple, this clothing store began in 1977 and continues to be a big part of the Mall landscape.

  6. KB Toys - KB Toys was up there with Toys R Us for ultimate Mall toy store. It opened over a hundred years ago but its heyday was in the mid to late eighties.

  7. Spencer Gifts - Made famous in recent times by fantastic sitcom ‘the Goldbergs’, this eighties gadget and gizmo store was a place kids would spend hours pouring over all of the lava lamps, plasma balls and fake vomit!

Check out the full video here:

Preach, brother!!

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